I submit there is a difference between being ready and desiring something to happen now, right this minute. As I sit and type I'm ready for the next time they decide to cut me open, stop my heart, and stitch in some veins they grabbed out of my leg(left, this time as they've already harvested from the right and just what did they do with the extra that was left over. I never saw a credit on my bill where it showed what they got for those inches of good vein) and glued me shut after replacing the baling wire they used to pull the sternum back together. Do I want that to happen latter today? Nope! Would I like them to wait as long as possible? You bet! Even with that said, I'm ready. I wasn't the first time, but now I think of it sort of like having a to do list or my own special version of a bucket list.
I'm not a big fan of bucket lists. My focus is more on just doing as much stuff as I can. I don't want to check off items on a list and then say, okey dokey let's blow this pop stand we call life.
I love life.
I've always seen an obit as a celebration although some of them certainly aren't written that way. I don't want a traditional one and I don't want a traditional service either. I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread at a designated place I've already told my wife and kids.
But before they do that....I want a big bang, the service/gathering to be at a time when as many friends as relatives as possible can be there. I want to give folks plenty of travel time 'cause I know folks all over. I want there to be lots of food, a pot luck, lots of desserts and beverages and if possible a pot-latch of some kind where folks can bring good stuff to pass around. It would give my wife and kids a good chance to go through all my stuff that they constantly tell me I have too much of and re-purpose or just get rid of it. Honestly I think they should try to sell the first editions and collectible stuff but to be real honest I don't plan on needing any of it after I'm gone.
The cremation thing, not all my ashes need to end up where I've told them about. If anybody wanted to take a scoop and do whatever they wanted, fine by me. Mix me with some adobe bricks or toss me up at Winfield or fashion a pendant from glass made from me. I don't care. Be creative.
Back to the gathering. It should be fun. Maybe a bocce or Frisbee golf tournament or a kite flying festival. I like those ideas. I'd like a bonfire at some point, but really more a big campfire to sit around and tell stories, sing songs, or come up with some way to celebrate life and/or do some good for somebody else. In the end everybody would head home not grieving but in a better mood with jokes to tell, songs to sing, and melodies to hum.
That's what I want to happen. When that time comes if H_____ and the kids don't want that, well.....don't do it. Do whatever will help you guys. I think it might be a good idea to hang on to some souvenirs that were important to me, the good luck box, bracelets, stuff I liked, theme shirts, whatever, because when the monks show up dragging a little kid to look over items spread out on a blanket, if he picks my stuff you will know he isn't an important lama, he has good taste, and/or the resurrected James Dean lives on.
So here it is. I've redacted anything that I thought might jinx me. I'd hate to be as cursed as Joe Btfsplk.
My all time favorite photo. If it is used in the obit folks will feel sorry for the little kid and just might stick around to read the rest of it if they aren't to ticked off to find out I'm really an old guy.
I've redacted much identifying data but not all.
Here’s
the thing. R#### D## C##### who was born October #, 1955(his uncle D##
M#####'s ##th birthday) in Aberdeen, South Dakota, to Dr. J### “B###”
C#####, USDA-APHIS-VS and S#### M##### C#####, journalist, has punched
the time clock for the last time. He was ____ in your Earth Humonnn
years. What happens next, well that is pretty much determined by what
you believe. R#### figured he was finally done jacking around with all
that, “heart and lung b.s.” that had plagued him the last ___years. He
is survived in spite of all efforts to the contrary by his wife, H#####
L## C#####, son I#### M#####, and daughter C##### L#####.
R#### leaves behind a bunch of friends and relatives that are really too
numerous to mention but in keeping with his wishes these few will be,
brother C_____, sister C_____, and the
executive steering committee of the FreeState InterFaith Council
including but not limited to, #____, #__, and #___.
Throughout life R#### was very aware of the impact others had on
his life and he wanted to mention as many as possible including
relatives, teachers, friends, old girlfriends, mentors and enemies,
however now that this notice is actually being written it just doesn’t
quite seem to be so fitting.
Lots of stuff happened to R#### during his life. He had lots of jobs and he liked some of them. Often he expressed that these aspects of his life be mentioned at the time of his passing.
How proud he was of his wife and kids.
He made the film documentary, Los Matavacas, which told the story of the joint efforts of Mexico and the U.S. to contain the foot and mouth epidemic that threatened the livestock industries of both countries during the late 1940’s and early ‘50’s.
Riley read the complete works of William Faulkner for “fun”
He wrote or co-wrote with his brother and actually completed many non produced feature length screenplays including, Bundies, 100 Pieces, & What did you expect...a bubble bath?
He once owned a house in G______, Texas.
He worked for nearly five years in his grandfather’s grocery store, M_____ Grocery.
He gave us the Christmas potato.
He lived to see both his children graduate from High School and college.
He loved the Big Bend region of West Texas and would have liked to end up there.
Near the end he wanted to communicate these bits of wisdom to the world.
Lots of stuff happened to R#### during his life. He had lots of jobs and he liked some of them. Often he expressed that these aspects of his life be mentioned at the time of his passing.
How proud he was of his wife and kids.
He made the film documentary, Los Matavacas, which told the story of the joint efforts of Mexico and the U.S. to contain the foot and mouth epidemic that threatened the livestock industries of both countries during the late 1940’s and early ‘50’s.
Riley read the complete works of William Faulkner for “fun”
He wrote or co-wrote with his brother and actually completed many non produced feature length screenplays including, Bundies, 100 Pieces, & What did you expect...a bubble bath?
He once owned a house in G______, Texas.
He worked for nearly five years in his grandfather’s grocery store, M_____ Grocery.
He gave us the Christmas potato.
He lived to see both his children graduate from High School and college.
He loved the Big Bend region of West Texas and would have liked to end up there.
Near the end he wanted to communicate these bits of wisdom to the world.
1. Read lots of books, watch lots of movies, listen to lots of music and krunklle as many glicknods as you can(obscure references to actions and items that haven't even been thought up at the time of this writing and yes, they will exist as surely as we will become a nation dependent on all natural weasel power.)
2. Hug your family whenever you get the chance.
3. Sing everyday.
4. Use profanity responsibly.
5. Say thank you.
6. Remember, the finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.
7. Because of that, this.
8. Don’t slag the other kids’ music, because sometimes a kid’s music is the only flag he has to wave.
9. Kids are the coolest deal and there’s no place like home.
10. A-P-O-T-P
and thus it was written....
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